For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
