More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
