you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize