The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
