i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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