is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
