Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
