She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
