Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
