singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
