so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She bit a glass in half.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
