I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I could make wine with my vomit
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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