did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
