I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
