Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
