you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
