I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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