he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she smelled like a LAN party
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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