and you said cock pushups were impossible
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
