Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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