Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
