After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
