I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
