My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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