you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
