Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
