I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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