Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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