.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
