i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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