shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
3pm strippers are depressing
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
