Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
