America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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