Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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