His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
