So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My vagina just recognized that song.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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