You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
