I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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