DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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