He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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