Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
