This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
