If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
