Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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