PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
