i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
