It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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