Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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