She is in my trunk
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
