When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
