Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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