I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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