That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
