she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
