there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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