she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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