Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
false alarm. still invincible.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You made out with two different species that night
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
