Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
