Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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