I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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