I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
