He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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