look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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