too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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