he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
