This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
