8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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