I didn't shave. On purpose
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
