she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
