If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
