So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
