I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
