In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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