he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
