The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
